Going through a breakup can be one of the toughest times in a person’s life. As a friend, you want to be there for them in the best way possible. However, it’s essential to understand that your actions and words can have a significant impact on their healing process. Here are some helpful do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when supporting a friend who’s going through a breakup.
Do:
- Do – Listen without judgment: Give your friend the freedom to communicate their emotions without fear of criticism or condemnation. All they need sometimes is someone to listen to them with empathy.
- Do – Offer your presence: Make yourself both physically and mentally available to your companion. Whether it’s taking a stroll, seeing a movie, or just spending time together in silence, spend time with them.
- Do – Encourage self-care:
Remind individuals to take care of themselves during this trying time to promote self-care. Push them to join in enjoyable activities, eat well, exercise, and get restful sleep.
- Do – Validate their feelings: Acknowledge their feelings by telling your friend that it’s acceptable to experience anger, sadness, or confusion. Assure them that their feelings are valid and that what they are experiencing is completely normal.
- Do – Provide practical support:
Offer assistance with daily tasks like cooking, errand running, and grocery buying. Sometimes, little actions can have a major effect.
- Do – Respect their boundaries: Recognize that your friend may require some time to digest their feelings and respect their boundaries. When they’re not ready, respect their boundaries and don’t force them to converse or interact with others.
Don't:
- Don’t – Minimize their feelings:Reduce their emotional impact: Steer clear of platitudes such as “It’s not a big deal” or “You’ll get over it soon.” Your friend may feel misinterpreted and dismissed if you downplay their emotions.
- Don’t – Offer unsolicited advice: Although it’s normal to want to help, wait to offer advice until your friend specifically requests it. Sometimes, people don’t need someone to solve their problems; they just need someone to listen.
- Don’t – Compare their breakup to yours or others:
Since every breakup is different, it can be detrimental to compare your friend’s circumstance to your own or that of someone else. Instead, pay attention to their emotions and experiences without drawing parallels.
- Push them to move on quickly: Encourage them to move on as soon as possible because everyone heals from a breakup differently and needs time. Refrain from putting pressure on your friend to “get over it” or go back on dates before they’re ready.
- Don’t – Speak negatively about their ex:
Try not to speak poorly of their ex, even if it could be tempting to do so. Adversive remarks have the potential to impede the healing process and perhaps prompt your friend to defend their former partner, resulting in needless stress.
- Don’t – Forget to check in: Even after the initial shock of the split has subsided, remember to check in with your friend on a regular basis. Tell them you are always available to help anytime they need it.